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I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
I wish relationships were more like cell phone plans - "Free nights and weekends."
It`s possible you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
Whenever I`m out somewhere there is a 99% chance I am thinking about going home and sleeping.
If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you`ll be dead soon.
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she’s still there.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It`s a new cutting-edge technology called "taking the bus."
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.