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Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
There were only 3 commandments until Moses’ wife got involved.
I’m late for a disappointment.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
I’ve got bad news: Today is not Friday, Tomorrow is not Friday, Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
Girls just wanna have funds.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
I can do 50-100 pushups depending on how many weeks you give me.