Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
"5 React 2 Gum-- Experiences may vary. Stimulate your senses!"-- Same effect as LSD, but chewier.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.