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What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs!