Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts.
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
I`d love to drown my problems... I just can`t get my spouse to go swimming!
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.
My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body`s telling me yesss...BABY. Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?