Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.