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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny and thin. It`s a public service really.
Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag? Me: No, let`s just keep it in the carton, ok?
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
The songs I like always come on when Iām supposed to be getting out of my car.
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.