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I have off-road rage, too
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I`m not beating her.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.
I`m just like you ... Only smarter and better looking.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.