Daily Silly Status

If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.

is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!

I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.

Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.

I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD

Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.

To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.

No horror movie can surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feeling your cell phone.

You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl

I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.

I try not to limit my madness to March.

I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.