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I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
So can we just skip to summer now?
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
Football: 22 people on the field desperately in need of rest and 75,000 in the stands desperately in need of exercise.