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I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
Please do not read this.
Itβs almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
I don`t drink these days. I`m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.