Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
Please do not read this.
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
I don`t drink these days. I`m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.