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Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
Okay, calm down. Its a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.