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I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
This day needs more tomfoolery!
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
I’d be unstoppable if it wasn’t for law enforcement and physics.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…