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I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
A woman at my gym has a jellyfish tattoo on her arm ... So I peed on her
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
Ways to die: Steal my food.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
I don`t get nearly enough credit for managing not to be a violent psychopath
The reason why women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants
I used to be so broke when homeless people saw me coming by they would hide their change cups.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
Bad decisions make good stories.