Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
Drink till she´s cute, but stop before the wedding
Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
*spits out animal cracker* This doesn`t even taste like hippo.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
My wife asked me to load the dishwasher. So I poured her some shots and told her to start drinking. And that`s how the fight started.