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Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
I got in an elevator with a lady with big breasts. She said could you press one for me please. I did and that was the last thing I remember
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Anybody know where the cheapest place to buy 12 red roses is?.....just asking for a friend.
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
Is it even possible to calmly walk away from a dark basement?
Don’t start an argument with a girl because they have 45030194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 2:27PM on April 23rd 2008.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."
My dog is eating. I`m sitting next to her, staring intently at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. Yeah, how`s THAT feel, mutt?