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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
Being skinny might be nice, but having pizza is nicer.
“Single and ready to mingle” is the fancy way of saying “Alone and desperate”
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
I`m glad it`s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the sh!t I should be doing.
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
Balloons are so weird... "happy birthday, here`s a plastic sack of my breath"
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe