Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
OMG! I just discovered that if I align them JUST right, that I can make your boobs stand straight up (just like the broom trick)! Message me for an appointment! ;)
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
There’s a police helicopter above my house right now, so I’m cashing in and calling everyone who has ever said “when pigs fly.”
Has anybody seen my keys? they`re awesome.
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?