Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I kind of like it getting dark so early because it gives me a great excuse to just stay inside and watch TV.
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
I hate how homeless people shake their coin cups at me. I get it. No need to gloat that they have more money than me.
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
Don`t worry, some people are their own punishment in life.
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.