Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
Jake from State Farm works some very crappy hours.
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
If you’re a douchebag, it’s so easy to find the right hat.
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.