Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
Today feels like a stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head, and pretend you`re on an adventure in a kangaroo`s pouch type of day
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
It was so cold out today i actually saw a few gangsters with their pants pulled up.