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My innocent look never works in the nude.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: β€˜last warning, you have a week to get the money together.’
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
For lent, I`m giving up sexual innuendos but it`s hard... so hard!
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
I’m always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too
Whoever decided to color underpants white was an idiot.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…