Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
I always knew that one day I`d end up face-down in the gutter. I just didn`t expect everyone to keep on bowling...
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
My daughter asked me why I carry a gun inside the house. I told her I was scared of the CIA. She laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?