Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today`s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you`re here now, you failed.
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
I hide my vodka in orange juice
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
My box of animal crackers says "May contain nuts." So I`m inspecting each animal before I eat it...just in case.
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.