Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
I hate when I explain how awesome I am to someone and they pretend to not be impressed.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
Just sneezed 8 times in a row and saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.
I will never repeat filthy rumors. So listen closely the first time.
Being single is the worst sh!t ever. Being in a relationship is a close second.
So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.