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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn`t quite finished...
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...