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i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
Marriage is for quitters
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
It’s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.