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I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
"Man, you know your bible verses forwards and backwards" - said no one ever
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
You don`t look like 200 likes in person
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
Funerals are so depressing, when I die I want to be fed to a shark or something cool.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.