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The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003.
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
My innocent look never works in the nude.
Just took a shower. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that thing out of Home Depot.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!