Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
When choosing a name for your daughter, imagine her being announced in a strip club. If she doesn`t need a stage name, pick something else.
There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
Had a pizza today without extra cheese. Dieting is hard
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
Why don`t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?