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My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
Some people need to calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
Our #1 problem in this country is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything ...but please don`t quote me!
It`s so cold out, I just seen a woman in 2 pairs of pajamas at Walmart...
I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there`s an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.