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If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
Guns don`t kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Imagine how freaked out the first human must of been on the first sneeze.
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
Always be yourself, unless you suck…and if you suck you should try being more like me.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
What idiot called it the "Happy Birthday" song instead of New Age music