Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They sell Harvard shirts at Target so thatβs a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
I get carried away sometimes⦠Usually because I refuse to leave.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
That awkward moment when the mosquito is more interested in persistently banging it`s head against the windshield of your vehicle in an attempt to escape your presence than it is in trying to bite you. #feelingunattractive
If a camera adds 10 pounds then maybe stop eating them
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
Iβd drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
I can do 50-100 pushups depending on how many weeks you give me.