Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.
My last relationship was almost as complicated as the knot my pocket created with my headphones.
The only thought I have for the weather lately is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji.
A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.