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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
If I hug you longer than 3 seconds, I’m picking your pockets.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
That moment when I try and be helpful to a blind man getting off the bus by saying, "watch your step"
Often think if I`d taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...