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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
I don`t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents but you don`t see me change my status to "orphan."
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
Your things are terrific.
Guy advice #221: Starting a load of laundry in the washing machine and then starting a load in the dryer counts as `2 loads` - just sayin`!
We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper.
If you wake up with a funny taste in your mouth on christmas morning...............just remember that santa only cums once a year. :D
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)