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In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-