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From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Was the little pig who decided to built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot?
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
My New Year`s resolution is to stop pointing my car alarm remote at my apartment front door expecting to unlock it
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
I love the smell of a liquor store in the morning!
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.