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So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
A good office manager never let`s you run out of ink, paper or vodka
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.
Anyone who calls it a "day off with the kids"... Either has no kids or doesn`t know what "day off" means.