Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can`t even afford a washer or a dryer
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.