Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
I like people... From a distance.
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
It doesn`t take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
First thing I do when I realize I’m lost…turn the radio down.
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?