Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Every day at work I wonder if this is going to be the day I accidentally scream "SHUT THE F*CK UP` out loud instead of just in my head.
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
I know alcohol isn`t the answer, but it`s my best guess.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels
I`m sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body.