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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
I never get nervous or embarrassed. That`s just some sh*t that sober people who leave the house have to worry about.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far.
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
About 110,000 people contract chlamydia each month, more than signed up for Obamacare. Obamacare is less popular than chlamydia.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.