Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
Whenever there is an awkward silence try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
I’ve never pretended to be anything I’m not…except for sober. I’ve pretended to be sober a few times.
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting sh!tfaced.
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Today I heard a guy on the street say, `It`s chowder season, baby!` so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words