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"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
I`m so hot I stalk myself ;)
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
I WON THE LOTTERY, SCREW YOU ALL! ... Sorry, just practicing
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.