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My first career was working as a Ventriloquist on a Radio Program, I got let go when people kept calling in to say my lips were moving.........
It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
Attention fuels immaturity
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
Save water, shower together.
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you`ll need a shovel and map to find him.