Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
I accidentally spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone.
When does hibernation start? Because I am 100% participating in that.
Is there a way to politely throw breathe mints in someone`s mouth while they`re talking?
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
3 wishes for when I find a genie: 1. The more I eat the skinnier I get 2. One kid grows up to be a pharmacist 3. Other kid owns a winery
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
Parts of my body are turning 50 Shades of Gray
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...