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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
My friend told me he wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don`t think he`d be a good secret agent.
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
My life coach just benched me.
It’s what people don’t know about each other that makes them such good friends.
If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
There better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober.