Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
If cockroaches can survive atomic bombs and chemical warfare, what the f*ck is in a can of Raid?
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
"is Pepsi ok?" - my coke dealer, tryin to be funny
1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There`s no episode where a man asks a woman `what`s wrong?`
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.
I once ran a Half Marathon. Well, I say that because it sounds better than saying I collapsed and almost died halfway through a Full Marathon.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers