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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
I have removed all the unhealthy food from my house ... It was delicious.
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
This morning I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.