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I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
I think the spork would have caught on better if they called it "a forkin` spoon!"
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
I liked you better before we met.
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
I usually spend my Mondays texting apologies but I`ve had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do.