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The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
condoms prevent minivans
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Me and my recliner...we go way back.
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!