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When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told. Twice now.
At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
I couldn’t believe it yesterday, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school…
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
FYI: You can buy wedding cake even if there`s no wedding, those suckers don`t even check
Doctor: How`s your headache? Me: She`s out of town.
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.