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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You`re an adult" every few minutes.
I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
I met a guy exactly like my father so I brought him home and my mom shot him.
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I`m bored of paying for things