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I had s*x with my friend`s wife last night and now I feel awful. She must have had the flu or something.
All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
Apparently Home Depot`s slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn`t apply to masturbation.
Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
I`m leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.